Archive for the 'Pets' Category

Mystery Solved

I always wondered how the daughter was able to successfully put hats, glasses, and you-name-it on our pet dog, when the second I tried to touch or place any object on our dog’s head, she would thrash violently until the foreign object was dislodged and summarily disposed of. 

The secret, as it turns out, as in all endeavors, is persistence.  Just keep doing it again and again (say for fifteen very gleeful and entertaining minutes to a child) and resistence apparently gives way.  At that point, the dog resigns to her fate as a dress-up model and will submit to almost anything (well, OK, even at that point, the dresses apparently are still a challenge).

The Most Painful Toy and Pencil-Lead Cookies

Kissing kids goodnight in the dark can be a perilous activity indeed.  Kids’ Rooms’ floors are often strewn with all sorts of spiked toys and other implements of parental torture.  These synthetic artifacts – primarily from McDonald’s Corporation and overly affectionate grandparents – are played with for the requisite 5 minutes and then promptly cast aside to serve as perfect parental land mines.  

This is particularly true with overly permissive parents like myself.  I am little better at setting an example for and raising my own kids than your average house-trained pet.  That is, I know where I should eat and go to the bathroom, but other subtleties of hygiene and normal social living somehow escape me. 

So after many years of this goodnight-kissing activity, I think I have “stumbled” upon one of the more painful things to step on – a Thomas the Tank Engine Matchbox Car.  I don’t exactly know why this is true – a fortuitous combination of size, density, and prickliness perhaps – but it is so.

Speaking of cabon-based child units, while baking (i.e. accidentally burning) some cookies for my kids the other day, my youngest daughter informed me that these {burnt cookies} “taste exactly like pencil lead” – and I felt quite sure that she knows quite precisely from personal experience exactly what pencil lead tastes like.

I imagined my youngest daughter going about her day and exploring her world – grabbing and sampling everything in sight: pencils? how do they taste? bad – got to remember that one – chapstick? tastes great – but don’t put it on the dogs’ lips though they “just lick it off” (another recent direct quote). 

Far from being repelled – I was envious.  God, I wish I still had that spirit of curiosity and adventure.  By the way, this keyboard and monitor tastes horrible – but the mouse wheel is not bad…

Blue Tongue Never use Magic Marker as Lipstick

Little Girls and Pets Don’t Mix

What happens when you leave a little girl alone with her pet… 

Little Girls and Dogs Don't Mix

If only we could all be so tolerant of kids.

In this picture, our family pooch reminds me of a canine version of Peg Bundy from Married with Children.  Will someone please get her a bon-bon?